I just visited my mom from UM, she looked surprise to see me but we did not talk much. She din even care bout my existence. My appearance was just so transparent to her. It even seems she shared our family stuffs with other ppl. She was mad coz I showed moody face when I needed to send her somewhere ( I was very sick, resting at home). I mean she could even ask my sister to accompany her to translate what she wanna say.I know my mom rely much on me, but sometimes I do hope she understands those stress I am undergoing. What hurt most is the words that she used, killing to heart!! I don't care if anyone believe how upset I am now, cause I know GOD clearly can see n feel what I am feeling now. I hope her operation will go smooth and doesn't suffer like the lady beside her.

The climb - no one understands

I was very speechless when my very own sister do not understand my situation and difficulties plus my tiredness to fulfill my promises and responsibility as the oldest in this family. My contribution may not be alot as a fresh grad, but 50% of my salary goes to my family to ease their burden, just because I do not want to see my mom working late, cleaning ppl's house (and CNY ang pow just RM10- even 5yrs of employment) I want her to rest, as my dad... cant blame he don't understand how hard and stress work are now these days. My sis chased me for few hundred ringgit dinner money coz I haven been stepping into the bank for days.The fact, everyday from office I rushed down to Bangsar (for my part time helping) and I am very bz with my important personal settlement stuffs. My only time I have are weekends (half day - evening go tea club work to help) to REALLY REST, but that also occupied by my parents or sometimes frens ( I do need time for frens, I am not anti social person).No matter how broke I am, I never try to show my parents, I try to portray a more positive situation and find my ways to solve my own problem. The real things are my head is mentally dysfunctional. Everyday, I eat I think of my career, I sleep I think bout my career, I walk I think bout my career, and hopefully GOD listens to my prayer to give my parents a better living. For wat my sis did n said... I was upset & disappointed. Chasing for days and keep asking for balance.(RM200 cash for father's day dinner)

If i ever stop writing, it means I am in Tanjung Rambutan!!!

My blog may sounds black or grey.... I have the habit of writing diary since I was a little kid. I am not the kind that share my doubts with ppl (sometimes on small issues), mostly I wrote it in my little book. As I write... I feel better. It is some kind of remedy to me. Most blogs shares happy moments, I share my happy moments in heart. Not stingy or self-centered. That's my distress manner.