It's been a while that I know I've neglected my page here. I've been doing a lot of thinking even through my CNY. I was not having a relaxing one but more or less this CNY holiday makes a good rest.
The Internet Connectivity
Yeah, my hobby is back again with more good stories to share here. I've met few so-called bachelor themselves, some are real nice but some are horny. My posted picture on site were not the good one but yet I still receive msg from guy who willing to share their scope of frenship. I've met a guy who loves jazz, oldies and sentimental musics. Our 1st date was funny, we went for a hair cut together. We clicked like friends but v don't call each other just virtually clicked then. I've also met someone who are much more older- say 38? He's matured, not talkative, and very chinese man but not conservative. Last guy I met, a guy with all tattoo on his body- he's a chef and he's taken! I would say that this guy could flirt and trying to get a companion. Glad I was not the chosen one!
Believe should be "I" - in myself
I used to trust people rather than my parents. Forgive me, I lost my real parents very long ago and not to blame or to say that my foster parents are bad. It's just happen that they always query every single thing I do and will nag all the way long. I know...I know... for my own good but all I need its just a lil trust from them. Maybe I've depended myself all this while - the people I know- the knowledge I had - independence & capability ( I can't fully admit this cause they gave me what I am to be today). Hence, they took me . Mayb not for any granted but hoping that I could be ME. My parents are not educated and for this it causes some lack of knowledge in my life experience. One here, women beauty consider to be everything especially when I am searching man for certain standard. But as for now, I can't go far or to reach my dream because of my incapability to do so. I am not angry with anyone and I always try n try to seek ways that I could get what I want which is still not visible yet. I've been fooled and cheated or rejected because of my skin imperfection. I blame myself for not having such knowledge and when I see my beautiful friends being chased by "quality" man, I envy them. I asked, if i weren't having such problem, then this scene will also happen to me, right?" True by said " no one is perfect but I could improve myself to be perfect" Hopefully one day, one....day.... God will hear me and grant me this wish.
CNY Mood
Honestly, this year mood is close to ZERO. I don't have that anxious feeling to wait for the upcoming CNY. I applied a whole week of holiday cause I am going to S'pore. It seems like I am more happy to travel to s'pore than celebrating CNY. Somehow, it took few seconds of my time that all my dept faces came knocking in my mind. Hell yeah... that sucks! No offend, its just that... it's holiday man!!! No work issue here!!! When these faces gave a glimpse, my mood sinked! I guess, ppl know me they know why.
Hidden secret revealed!
I knw this guy through my cousin and we met in 2008 in a club. We party wild for all nite long and we became friends. Later that he went after me but I don't see him as for my future. I have to admit that I do have some knowledge on man ( meeting too many jerks in life) and he is a "kind" too. As usual he called and he chat and flirt. One reason I have to admit that he's my cousin's friend and when that guy is a typical person, I need to pull back some trust from him and my instinct were true. He flirt with me while flirting with others, he treated me like a high school girl and today..... the hot news revealed. It was so happen that I was having lunch with my cousin and then he accidently shared that this fella is having another so-called affair. He always ended up heating friendship a for FEMALE. Sad to say, this girl is also a scandal & I shouldn't be knowing all this but too bad... too late! Of course, I need to pretend dumb as usual to see how far he would fool me! Glad that I've never given a chance to consider bout him....
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
YOGA
Tough.... damn tough!!! attended my 1st session of "real" yoga, and no kidding... I felt like I've sent myself to a 1st day ballet class! It was sad to see everyone's hand touching the floor and mine was just hanging half way...I felt old n bone also gone hard - need Anlene! Almost every move i was hanging there, the funniest one were push my ass up and chest down, I ended up whole body sleeping on the floor! It took me a while to do the so called "snake" style.... I almost giving up when things get harder n shivering but another thought of it I should stay because my health is getting worst... just like my singse said, and if my condition getting no improvement... very bad effect in future! So... Namaste!
Position Or Income
I was wondering at one morning, if someone offer me a position of managerial level with the market rate salary - will I leave? or prob I hang with exec level but I have high salary but of course not yet managerial salary yet (got potential to get higher later). i asked around too and everyone said that they rather are not bothered with the title as long the money become thicker! But I do have fren that will look into position title. hmmm... I guess at this point with the economic politic, everyone's forehead is crafted with MONEY! SHow...Me DA MoNeeEeeY! No matter what n how... one must be sure what comes the best for themselves and should bear what decided. ( only ppl who encounter something in mind will understand what I'm trying to say here)
Tough.... damn tough!!! attended my 1st session of "real" yoga, and no kidding... I felt like I've sent myself to a 1st day ballet class! It was sad to see everyone's hand touching the floor and mine was just hanging half way...I felt old n bone also gone hard - need Anlene! Almost every move i was hanging there, the funniest one were push my ass up and chest down, I ended up whole body sleeping on the floor! It took me a while to do the so called "snake" style.... I almost giving up when things get harder n shivering but another thought of it I should stay because my health is getting worst... just like my singse said, and if my condition getting no improvement... very bad effect in future! So... Namaste!
Position Or Income
I was wondering at one morning, if someone offer me a position of managerial level with the market rate salary - will I leave? or prob I hang with exec level but I have high salary but of course not yet managerial salary yet (got potential to get higher later). i asked around too and everyone said that they rather are not bothered with the title as long the money become thicker! But I do have fren that will look into position title. hmmm... I guess at this point with the economic politic, everyone's forehead is crafted with MONEY! SHow...Me DA MoNeeEeeY! No matter what n how... one must be sure what comes the best for themselves and should bear what decided. ( only ppl who encounter something in mind will understand what I'm trying to say here)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Materialistic
Some guys like to ask "what kind of man do you like" "what kind of bf would you prefer"? Well, it depends when does this question throw to me. If you ask during my high school time, ho..ho! my answer is "no need too rich one" "honest" loyal" "loving""matured""sporting". Yes, that used to be my answer but as for now, my answer is simple! Fulfill the 5Cs!ha ha! Usually after my answer, the moderate income man-driving local cars would say "sigh, you are just like any other MATERIALISTIC WOMAN out there!" Hey, I am just an ordinary human seek to fulfill what I want and the suppose needs. I understand when men give such reaction, I came from girl's school and I have seen many kind of girls around me... from so called pure little angels (ha ha, angel of transformer!) to drama queen.But I do have some frens who are really sincere to their relationship.
Ok, back to my 5Cs. Honestly, my answer are shouted out to the moderate level because I do not see myself going into the glamorous world living in luxurious life.
Hmmmm....Let me share my philosophy with you, "Having a man in life is a companion, having a good man in life is a gift" . This is what I could explain about my second sentence in this paragraph. So, listen to me....
CAREER - I don't think the guy would have guts to chase a gurl without this criteria!
CAR -which fella don't own a car now? I mean majiority!
CASH - When you work, you have cash (the figure depends on what kind of gurl you r chasing after)
CREDIT CARD - Pls, even Ah Long also own Credit Card!
CONDOMINIUM - Well, probably he doesn't own this but bungalow or terrace :p
So, simple as that. Mine is basic. But I guess what scare our poor little man are the figure that girls expecting them to "contribute" in any hinting manner. And of course, I won't deny that man are also good in calculating such as the benefit of this investment and so on... Sometimes it is the biological connection that link up the couples together but some are just chemistry responese and some are just dumb and blind! Me? I'm bad at chemistry but it works in my relationship but I have to admit my biology is much better!
Some guys like to ask "what kind of man do you like" "what kind of bf would you prefer"? Well, it depends when does this question throw to me. If you ask during my high school time, ho..ho! my answer is "no need too rich one" "honest" loyal" "loving""matured""sporting". Yes, that used to be my answer but as for now, my answer is simple! Fulfill the 5Cs!ha ha! Usually after my answer, the moderate income man-driving local cars would say "sigh, you are just like any other MATERIALISTIC WOMAN out there!" Hey, I am just an ordinary human seek to fulfill what I want and the suppose needs. I understand when men give such reaction, I came from girl's school and I have seen many kind of girls around me... from so called pure little angels (ha ha, angel of transformer!) to drama queen.But I do have some frens who are really sincere to their relationship.
Ok, back to my 5Cs. Honestly, my answer are shouted out to the moderate level because I do not see myself going into the glamorous world living in luxurious life.
Hmmmm....Let me share my philosophy with you, "Having a man in life is a companion, having a good man in life is a gift" . This is what I could explain about my second sentence in this paragraph. So, listen to me....
CAREER - I don't think the guy would have guts to chase a gurl without this criteria!
CAR -which fella don't own a car now? I mean majiority!
CASH - When you work, you have cash (the figure depends on what kind of gurl you r chasing after)
CREDIT CARD - Pls, even Ah Long also own Credit Card!
CONDOMINIUM - Well, probably he doesn't own this but bungalow or terrace :p
So, simple as that. Mine is basic. But I guess what scare our poor little man are the figure that girls expecting them to "contribute" in any hinting manner. And of course, I won't deny that man are also good in calculating such as the benefit of this investment and so on... Sometimes it is the biological connection that link up the couples together but some are just chemistry responese and some are just dumb and blind! Me? I'm bad at chemistry but it works in my relationship but I have to admit my biology is much better!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Over spent
I have to admit that I am bad at math and for that reason I am bad at savings. Everytime when I have extra I will still spend it off. Like this month, I over spent plus owing... every time at this moment I will have guilty conscious but after next month salary..."what happen ar"?
Well, starting this year it is gonna be difficult. My student's mom (my auntie) just called to inform that her daughter schedule is too tight for BM tuition (just started with std 4). so there lost my side income. actually that side income does help a lot. But I wont blame her also, she has the right.Blaming myself for not having a good plan. That's why in 2009, I must do smthg... well, put this a bet. By end of 2009 I must have at least min 1k !
I have to admit that I am bad at math and for that reason I am bad at savings. Everytime when I have extra I will still spend it off. Like this month, I over spent plus owing... every time at this moment I will have guilty conscious but after next month salary..."what happen ar"?
Well, starting this year it is gonna be difficult. My student's mom (my auntie) just called to inform that her daughter schedule is too tight for BM tuition (just started with std 4). so there lost my side income. actually that side income does help a lot. But I wont blame her also, she has the right.Blaming myself for not having a good plan. That's why in 2009, I must do smthg... well, put this a bet. By end of 2009 I must have at least min 1k !
Saturday, January 3, 2009
What was my past life?
Ever wonder what was your past life? This topic actually struck few times in my mind but was not bothered to find out until yesterday. Browsed through internet and also registered basic details in some "guru's" website. Well, let see if they reply....
3 weeks like 3 months
Yeah, CNY is around the corner...a lot to prepare, to clean, and to plan. But as for my family culture, we will be at Gohtong Jaya Apartment every year. Basically we eat, sleep and chill! oh well, I am actually not anxious bout the festive, it's my pocket!! I only have RM250 balance for this month! WTF! I guess I must start believeing in Feng Shui. Honestly, my "frozen bonus" does make me so upset.... especially when my parents don't know about this and keep asking if I got my share... damn!
Internet Culture
How many of us used to meet our internet frens after a few chat? Well, I do. I also have some friends who developed their relationship after meeting and finally happily married! Dun laugh, cause every couple get together through some connectivity. You don't start a relationship without the root. But my case, its always the sad one. I guess some guys got the wrong meaning of meeting internet frens as they bring some expectations when meeting a gurl. Like me, before meeting (jst looking at the picture) he would call you day and night like I am his cinderella. And when after 1st meeting that will also will be the LAST! Some are jerks, they woo agurl because they r lonely(boring to F the same bloody gf), and when they get what they want they will leave OR when you don't let anything to happen - SAYONARA! I encountered one funnier, everytime he chat, it's all about sex (I skipped all his stupid Q's)and when we go yum cha he will suggest spending a nite in hotel. All he knows is just flirting and fucking. PLUS....jeng!jeng!jeng! HE IS NOT HANDSOME N FAT but Family got "rice a bit" - NOT HIM! oh well, guys always think woman are stupid or rather weak no matter how smart or successful. I agree, why? Well, look at the way women do shopping compared to man (not including homosexual).
Somehow, throghout these year I have accumulated variety of experience from men. So, if I am meeting a net friend I could easily know the habitat of these creature. "Speak less doesn't mean stupid and being frenly doesn't mean sexually open type" - at least NOT ME!
Ever wonder what was your past life? This topic actually struck few times in my mind but was not bothered to find out until yesterday. Browsed through internet and also registered basic details in some "guru's" website. Well, let see if they reply....
3 weeks like 3 months
Yeah, CNY is around the corner...a lot to prepare, to clean, and to plan. But as for my family culture, we will be at Gohtong Jaya Apartment every year. Basically we eat, sleep and chill! oh well, I am actually not anxious bout the festive, it's my pocket!! I only have RM250 balance for this month! WTF! I guess I must start believeing in Feng Shui. Honestly, my "frozen bonus" does make me so upset.... especially when my parents don't know about this and keep asking if I got my share... damn!
Internet Culture
How many of us used to meet our internet frens after a few chat? Well, I do. I also have some friends who developed their relationship after meeting and finally happily married! Dun laugh, cause every couple get together through some connectivity. You don't start a relationship without the root. But my case, its always the sad one. I guess some guys got the wrong meaning of meeting internet frens as they bring some expectations when meeting a gurl. Like me, before meeting (jst looking at the picture) he would call you day and night like I am his cinderella. And when after 1st meeting that will also will be the LAST! Some are jerks, they woo agurl because they r lonely(boring to F the same bloody gf), and when they get what they want they will leave OR when you don't let anything to happen - SAYONARA! I encountered one funnier, everytime he chat, it's all about sex (I skipped all his stupid Q's)and when we go yum cha he will suggest spending a nite in hotel. All he knows is just flirting and fucking. PLUS....jeng!jeng!jeng! HE IS NOT HANDSOME N FAT but Family got "rice a bit" - NOT HIM! oh well, guys always think woman are stupid or rather weak no matter how smart or successful. I agree, why? Well, look at the way women do shopping compared to man (not including homosexual).
Somehow, throghout these year I have accumulated variety of experience from men. So, if I am meeting a net friend I could easily know the habitat of these creature. "Speak less doesn't mean stupid and being frenly doesn't mean sexually open type" - at least NOT ME!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Beginning of 2009
2009
a year where you step ahead without looking back
a year where things hopefully could be better
a hope of last year's bad door keep don't keep knocking in mind
a pray for transformation...
wish to obtain what was orally said but not done...
and... that is why GOD still spare me a chance of living here!
A short trip of 2008
In the year 2005, I was lost and I pray n pray that I could be a student again,
then someone told me, I must always believe in what I wan to do, and believe that I could do it. That piece of paper change my life. two-n-half year mediated and conscious of what wasted behind. Love is no more what I have crazily chased after, friends are countless but true friends are countable and it's only happen to be single digit. Family became warm in heart though there are times I felt like a stranger but I was supported along my way and now I clearly do care what I call it "future".
Somehow, life could never be perfect like fairy tale stories. In this year, I also live with a group of bachelors who I clearly see different characters and whether they are sincere or not. I also met someone that I do care and hope he could see me for his future but stairs are too high for me to climb and sit the same level with him. On the other hand, someone who appears in my life... I can't put much word but only "wait". Time is just too slow.....I wish I could fast forward everything in life and pause when I am tired. There are also time where some uncivilized man came into my life. Never a thief admit he is bad, same goes to playboy, player & married man!
As journey moved towards year end, that is when I had my true life.... really tired, really difficult, really giving up.... at that point, I wish I could stay away from anyone else to take some fresh air but again financial problem is what i encountered all the time. Until now, I can't see any good turnover. That is why I am glad that 2008 is finally over! A was a bad year and hopefully I see some shinning stars in 2009.
On my eve nite, I went to church... for thanks giving nite. The place was good and as I followed along the music, I recall what I have lost all these while.... I don't know if I am still in father's arm or HE has punished me. No matter what, I shall seek for my soul and to believe that Father Lord is always by my side to shelter me when dark clouds and thunderstorm with rain hit on me.... Thanks Kat!
a year where you step ahead without looking back
a year where things hopefully could be better
a hope of last year's bad door keep don't keep knocking in mind
a pray for transformation...
wish to obtain what was orally said but not done...
and... that is why GOD still spare me a chance of living here!
A short trip of 2008
In the year 2005, I was lost and I pray n pray that I could be a student again,
then someone told me, I must always believe in what I wan to do, and believe that I could do it. That piece of paper change my life. two-n-half year mediated and conscious of what wasted behind. Love is no more what I have crazily chased after, friends are countless but true friends are countable and it's only happen to be single digit. Family became warm in heart though there are times I felt like a stranger but I was supported along my way and now I clearly do care what I call it "future".
Somehow, life could never be perfect like fairy tale stories. In this year, I also live with a group of bachelors who I clearly see different characters and whether they are sincere or not. I also met someone that I do care and hope he could see me for his future but stairs are too high for me to climb and sit the same level with him. On the other hand, someone who appears in my life... I can't put much word but only "wait". Time is just too slow.....I wish I could fast forward everything in life and pause when I am tired. There are also time where some uncivilized man came into my life. Never a thief admit he is bad, same goes to playboy, player & married man!
As journey moved towards year end, that is when I had my true life.... really tired, really difficult, really giving up.... at that point, I wish I could stay away from anyone else to take some fresh air but again financial problem is what i encountered all the time. Until now, I can't see any good turnover. That is why I am glad that 2008 is finally over! A was a bad year and hopefully I see some shinning stars in 2009.
On my eve nite, I went to church... for thanks giving nite. The place was good and as I followed along the music, I recall what I have lost all these while.... I don't know if I am still in father's arm or HE has punished me. No matter what, I shall seek for my soul and to believe that Father Lord is always by my side to shelter me when dark clouds and thunderstorm with rain hit on me.... Thanks Kat!
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